Christmas is just around the corner and husbands everywhere are beginning to get stressed. While money, time and screaming children are all potential stressors, the real stress comes from something else – what to buy their wife for Christmas.
Every year at Christmas, some poor wife opens up that gift that no husband should buy their wife. Why is it that husbands cannot seem to find the right thing? Better still, why are husbands so good at picking the wrong thing? In an effort to help out husbands everywhere, I have assembled a short list of Christmas gifts that no husband should ever buy their wife. Here they are in no particular order:
Kitchen Utensils
Some men are very fortunate to still have a wife that cooks supper every evening. Unfortunately, those are the same foolish men that will turn around and buy their wife a griddle for Christmas. This is a really bad idea. (Unless you enjoy getting bashed in the head with a griddle)
Clothing That Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
Clothing is simply too risky because you are likely to pick the wrong size. Too big and they think you are saying they are fat, and too small means that you are hoping they will lose weight. Either way, you come out looking like a fool. Leave that whole category alone.
Self Improvement Anything
Along the same lines as the clothing category a husband should never attempt to be a self help guru. Buying your wife that “How to Become a Sex Goddess Overnight” book or video is not likely to draw rave reviews. Leave the whole yoga, weight loss, personal growth area to the men that like sleeping on the couch.
Any Small Appliance
Okay so you really do need a new vacuum cleaner. Gentlemen, if you attempt to slide that in as a Christmas gift you will likely be the only one that ever uses it. A gift for Christmas should not be something that requires her to do daily work.
Tickets to the Local Tractor Pull
Now, unless your wife is the biggest fan on Earth of tractor pulls, then you better not make this mistake. The point is, if the gift is really for you and you are trying to disguise it as a gift for her, you are risking a very early divorce. Keep your priorities on her, and buy those tickets to the tractor pull separately.
Fake Anything
While most men are smart enough to not try to the fake jewelry thing, they are not above going for that fake Gucci bag or Ipod. Have the common sense to buy your wife a Christmas gift that did not come from the back of someone’s van. Yes, guys. They know the difference.
The wrong Christmas gift is a really bad mistake, yes. While some women are immune to it after years and years of mistakes, we men should still make an effort this holiday season to do better. Head out and actually take some time to think about it. Consider what they will think when they open the gift. Consider if it will evoke a kiss or a slap upside the head. But most of all, consider whether it tells your beautiful bride just how much you love her.
