When parents grow older, it becomes harder and harder for them to care for themselves. This is a normal part of the aging process, and often it falls to the children or relatives to care for their aging parents. There are benefits to this for both parties as well as some drawbacks. What determines if it is the right thing to do, however? Here are some tips to help you decide.
If your parents are in failing health and you are unable to care for them in the ways they need, then you should not have them move in with you. The fact is, many adult children simply can not care for an ailing parent around the clock. The parents health is a huge factor in whether or not they should live with you. If they have health issues that are still within your capabilities, then by all means do so.
Do you and your parents get along? If you did not get along while apart, then there is zero chances that you will get along if they move in as they age. When people age, they sometimes find themselves irritable and depending on their state of mind, they can be downright ornery. This is not always realized by well meaning children that move their parents into their adult home. Ask yourself if you get along well with your parents and be honest with yourself. Is the relationship strong enough?
Another key point is if you actually have enough room. Making room is one thing, but upsetting your home is another. If you have to displace your children to the couch for example, that is not a good thing to do. Make certain that you have the room for your parents to move in, and be honest with yourself about the reality of it.
Can you afford for your parents to move in with you as they age? If not, then do not even think about it. Many well meaning men and women have spent their whole nest egg on trying to help out their parents. While this is noble and should be a priority to a degree, it should not be at the expense of your own immediate family such as your wife, husband or kids.
Speaking of immediate family, you should always ask them ahead of time and listen to their input. What do they think of the idea? If the husband or wife is unhappy about a move like this, then life can become pretty miserable.
Having your parents move in as they age is a wonderful experience if you consider all of the things above. Spending those twilight years together can be very fulfilling for both parties. If you can honestly say yes to all of the above, then by all means you should do so.
