If you are a brand new Daddy, or will be soon, then chances are you are clueless about what you are supposed to do in this new role. The role of Daddy has become so blurred in recent years that it is tough to know who to listen to. As the Father of newborn twins, I too was overwhelemed at times. Fortunately, I learned some things that can help you out, and here they are in no particular order:
1. Helping Mommy with that newborn baby actually starts long before the baby actually arrives. How you treat your wife during the pregnancy will set the tone for how you will act when the baby arrives. The baby is actually there from the moment that you decide to have them. You should be sure to begin that state of mind right away once the baby is on the way. Do whatever your wife and family needs to keep her healthy, calm, and safe during the pregnancy.
Go to the store, put up with moods, and spend plenty of time letting them know you are right there for the long haul. Women need your support in every way during this difficult but important time in your lives. She is not pregnant. We are pregnant. Get it?
2. While your wife is sure to stress out to some degree, you can not afford that luxury. (at least not in public or in front of her) Whatever stresses come along, you remain calm and collected. Your job as Daddy is to deflect any and all potential stressors that come to the family during this time. You are stronger than you know.
3. Once the babies arrive, your parenting job is not over. Your job really has only started. A new mother has so much to do that it is mind boggling. If you do not believe me, then just take a weekend alone with the baby. You will understand quickly and realize how lucky you are. As such, make yourself available to help her in any way that you possibly can.
4. The baby that is in the crib screaming and begging is your baby too. Trust me when I tell you that you will wish that you had bonded with them more when they were small. The power that comes from a baby that knows their Daddy is special and comes along only rarely. Take the initiative to be the one that responds to those cries.
5. Take the time to give your wife breaks every so often. This does not mean for you to do one feeding. This means to let them take a day to themselves, or a weekend to themselves when possible. Take over and let them get away now and then. Believe me the time with your child will be priceless, and your wife will be much fresher and happy as well.
6. Forget all that manly stuff for your kids. Your kids want only one thing from you. Love and security. If you provide these things, then you are the biggest man of all. No child ever benefitted from a lack of attention. Give the child your heart and soul, and your marriage relationship will benefit from it as well. They are your future after all.
