Somebody once aptly said that the only people who love change are babies with wet diapers. Change is scary, especially in midlife. It’s a time of doubt and questioning. “What am I doing? What have I achieved and what are my goals?” You feel tense, irritable, and feel like crying. “I forget things; I have very little energy left in me to do any work. I do not sleep well at night. I keep awake for hours together. What has happened to me?” These are just some of the uncertainties that plague you.
Your younger days seem so far away now. As you move into your 40s the only certainty is that of change. Everything is changing from your body to your spouse, your children and even your own interests and desires are not the same today. In reality though, the transition to midlife is gradual. There are no obvious changes or telltake signs which signal your entry into this new and unexplored domain. People hope that life begins at 40 but the great anxiety is that it ends there. Fearing this may be true, people become frantic at 40. They are making this transition from youth to a time of adulthood without hope or optimism. But what you need to understand is that this transition is inevitable, natural and a normal part of growing up.
Then why is midlife a period of stress? Because it is that stage of your life where you begin to feel uncomfortable and experience a wide range of changed feelings. This change occurs in a part of you that does not reveal in X-rays, cannot be measured by medical equipment or tested in a laboratory. It happens inside you. You begin to:
- Feel unhappy with life and your existing lifestyle.
- Get bored very easily, sometimes even with people who are close to you.
- Do something completely different because you feel like a change.
- Question the meaning of life.
- Question life decisions which you have previously made.
- Feel confused about what you are doing are where life is taking you.
- No longer feel and look young.
- Feel like you have no purpose in life.
- Feel inaqeuate as your kids have all grown up now and they don’t rely on you as much.
- You begin to feel like you are nearing death and there’s nothing you can do about it.
- Ask questions regarding your faith and God.
These feelings of midlife can occur naturally, or result from some significant loss or major change in your family or relations. Coming to terms with any loss or change is difficult as it is, but when it is entangled with midlife, the process can seem bewildering and overwhelming. So it is now that you need to understand what is midlife. This will enable you to see your way clearly out of the confusion and will help you avoid making any rash decisions that you might regret later.
Consider noted psychologist Carl Jung’s famous words on midlife: “We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life’s morning.” In other words, learn to adapt to change. And with a positive attitude. You may hear a lot of comments and wisecracks about the end of your youth, the waning of your powers, the unmistakable signs of age and so on. Don’t pay any attention. Midlife is a great opportunity to reaffirm your belief in yourself and others. For far too long, it has been taken and understood as a period of stress, discontent and crises. Midlife does not have to be crisis time. Take control of your life, think positively, change your attitude and you will enjoy the autumn of your life. After all, sometimes the best begins in the middle.
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