As parents, how do you discuss the famous ‘S’ word with your child? Talk to him about the birds and the bees or take a biology book and explain it all to them. Whatever you do, there’s no escaping the issue. Talking to your child about love and sex is an important part of parenting. However, you may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable while discussing the facts of life. Here are a few tips to help you talk to your teenager:
1. Start early: Encourage your child to talk and ask questions. Ideally sex education should be given from the beginning in an indirect manner as a child begins to form his impressions early in life. This is the time you need to make the child understand that it is not taboo to mention the word sex.
2. Give the child age-appropriate sex education: Deal with different topics at the right age. Let your child know about the various parts of the body as soon as he is able to comprehend that, inform him about sex-related diseases and birth control at the right stage.
3. Set an example: You are your child’s role model, so expose him to not only a healthy male-female relationship, but also a healthy atmosphere at home. For instance, be careful about what you watch on TV, or what movies you see. Follow the same rules that you want your children to live by.
4. Tell your children that you are available to talk to them about sex: This is necessary, especially because sex has been and still is a taboo subject in our society. Be the primary source of information about sex. This means that that while your child may be getting information about sex from other sources like the TV, the movies, school, friends, you are the ” authoritative figure”, who is going to supply them with correct and reliable information.
5. Express your nervousness: It is okay for your child to know that you are nervous about talking to him/her. It is usually hard for many parents to talk about sex. But you must not hide that from your child. Parents must tell their child that if for any reason they sound nervous or uncomfortable, the child should bear with them. This stresses the seriousness of the topic and the importance of what you want to say. The fact that this is so difficult for you yet you are going forward with it emphasizes your child’s need to listen.
Finally keep these pointers in mind:
- Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
- Try to determine your child’s level of understanding.
- Keep your sense of humor and do not be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
- Relate sex to love, intimacy, and respect for oneself and one’s partner.
- Be open in sharing values and concerns.
- Discuss the importance of responsibility.
- Help your child to consider the pros and cons of a situation.
- Develop open and active communication.
Follow these tips, take a healthy and active participation in your child’s awareness regarding sex and chances are that your child will grow up with a positive, informed and responsible attitude towards sex and sexuality.
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