For anyone who has a child of toddler age, tantrums are very much a common occurrence in their daily lives. This is because tantrums are a child’s way of expressing anger or frustration, or his way of getting what he wants to get.
Tantrums are far from pleasant. A child in a tantrum fit will usually cry his eyes out, and as loud as he can. There will also be rolling on the floor, and even fist banging on the floor or on the walls. Tantrums are also embarrassing experiences for parents, even the most experienced ones, but how do they cope up with the fits?
What Causes Tantrums
There are several known triggers for tantrum spells. The most common ones are anger and frustration. A child may start a tantrum fit when he gets frustrated, either at not being able to do something or not being able to get a message across.
A child yearning to become independent but is suppressed is also a candidate for a tantrum fit. For example, if a child wants to get up a seat by himself and you attempt to assist him, you can get a tantrum spell in return for your efforts.
A child may also use a tantrum to get your tantrum, especially if you try to pamper him during a previous tantrum episode.
What to Do When a Child Is Having Tantrums
The best way to cope up with a child having a tantrum spell is to ignore him. Like mentioned earlier, children are just trying to get your attention or trying to control you to their own advantage when they go into tantrums. Don’t give in to what the child wants – if a refusal of a request triggered the tantrums – because it will give him the impression that he can get anything he wants from you by going into a tantrum.
After your child has calmed down, talk to him and reprimand him for the undesirable behavior. This has two effects. First, it will teach the child to rule out wild outbursts as a way of getting his way with you. Second, it will also teach him that going into tantrums is not good behavior.
Do not try to calm a child having a tantrum. It will also make him go louder, as he is thinking that he can manipulate you with his tantrum fits. Instead, let him cry as much as he wants until he gets tired of it.
If you are in a public place, you could try to bring your child someplace else where it would be safe to leave him for a few minutes until he gets his bearings back.
Another alternative to ignoring the behavior is to introduce a diversion. Sometimes before a child goes into a tantrum, their attention can be diverted someplace else and away from the object of frustration because toddlers have a short attention span.
Most of all, do not lose your temper. If you lose your temper, you become a good example for a child having tantrums to repeat the behavior some other time.
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