Giving a eulogy is one of the most honorable rights a family can bestow upon you. Whether you are a family member or a trusted friend, the right to deliver a eulogy is something that you should treasure. Speaking at funerals are not exactly an easy thing to do, especially if you are close with the deceased, but it can be done if you plan it properly. Like most things, eulogies are much easier when you are well prepared.
To write the perfect eulogy, you need to spend some time with the family. This time is invaluable to gather information and memories that the family will want mentioned in the eulogy, as well as facts and information about the deceased. Make sure you get an accurate date of birth, as well as some information about their accomplishments and honors they might have received over the years. This information will be invaluable in crafting your eulogy.
As important as the details can be, the general feel of the person’s life is even more important. You can think of it as the theme of their life. What were they known for where other people were concerned? For example, were they a jokester, or were they extrememly sentimental? If you can tap into that theme, it can give your eulogy direction and help it to ring true with those at the funeral.
The whole idea of a great eulogy is to honor the person that has passed. Nothing does this better than to share a special moment or memory that showed the type of person they were. If the memory is with you, then feel free to share your own personal thoughts on the matter and how they touched your life. If the memory is with someone else, then you should okay it with them before using it. Some memories are preferred to be kept private.
Using humor to lighten a eulogy is a good idea as long as you use it sparingly and it is not distasteful. Make sure you use it to bring out a special memory or otherwise celebrate the deceased in some way.
Another important thing to remember is that our memories are fallible when emotions are involved. Make sure you write the entire eulogy down neatly and bring a copy to the podium when you go to deliver the eulogy. Sometimes, emotions will overcome you and you may need someone to finish the eulogy. If it is neatly written or typed then this is not a problem.
The one thing you do not want to do is to deliver a eulogy from the hip. Always plan what you intend to say, and resist the urge to stray from this. The reason is not because you will not have anything to say, but because emotions can truly cause you to say things you may not have intended. Stick to your written eulogy.
Finally, you will want to try out the eulogy a few times with a close friend or family member. This is important because you sometimes will hear one thing while others hear something different. Getting a second or third perspective on your eulogy can only help to improve upon it. You have a big responsibility, and your best is the least you can do. Try to focus on the relationships that were positive and never the negative.
