There are certain situations in our lives that are very difficult, if not impossible to change. One of them is having an abusive boss. If you are one of those persons that are having trouble sleeping or are feeling depressed because of the way their boss treats them, then this article is for you.
Have a Back-up Plan
Before making any move, like confronting your boss or making a complaint or reacting violently, make sure that you have a back-up plan in case your first plan does not work. This back-up plan may include having another job offer or something else that would take the power away from your boss. This way you can approach your boss with a bold face, knowing that you will not lose much if you do in fact, get in conflict with him.
Avoid Conflict
Going into a full-blown confrontation may be what your boss wants you to do. This is because you never end up having the upper hand in a confrontation. Answering or reacting to his verbal criticisms or abuses will only result in an ego war, and your boss, being a person of authority, will always win. Instead of talking back like a high school kid does, have self-control, acknowledge his criticism and walk away. Say “I understand what your saying and I’m sorry” to end the conversation. This way you are preventing the power play that your boss wants.
Discuss Calmly
After the emotional heat blows over, you may want to talk to your boss calmly. If he criticizes what you do with your work, talk to him about what he wants. Ask for advice. Clarify how he wants things to be done and show him that he is boss by saying that you will do the work the way that he wants it to be done. For future projects, clarify his instructions from the beginning so that you would know exactly how he wants things to be done. Know what he likes and don’t like in your work. Accept his advice and comments. May be he is right. If not, bear in mind that he is still your boss and as a professional you have to do what he says. Be as professional with him as possible. Your boss need not be your friend, you don’t even have to like him, but the best way to deal with your boss is to be a mature professional. Do your job as best you could, follow his instructions and meet deadlines.
Find Support from Colleagues
If your boss really is as abusive and unprofessional as you think he is then there are most certainly other employees that share your views. Document all his abuses and your performance at work. Form a union and bargain collectively. If the worst comes at least he can’t fire all of you. There is strength in making complaints and negotiations in numbers. As a group, talk to your boss first and not your boss’ boss. Talking to your boss’ boss should be your last resort.
You Can Change Yourself
Lastly, the most important thing to realize is that you cannot change your boss. You can only change how you perceive him and react to his abuses. Acceptance is the key. Think of him as your boss and not an ass. Accept that he is just like that. Don’t let him have power over your personal life. Leave your boss at work and don’t stress about him at home. You have to let go and live your life as happily and as positively as you could. In this way you take control of your life, all of it, and not your boss.
